‘My boyfriend proposed on sofa watching telly with no ring and I’m not happy’

Dear Coleen
My boyfriend proposed to me a couple of months ago. Well, I say proposed, but it was quite casual.

He just said: “Will you marry me?” when we were sitting together on the sofa one night watching telly.

There was no getting down on one knee and no ring.

At first I didn’t think he was serious, so when I laughed and said: “I don’t know! Not a very romantic proposal”, he looked quite hurt.

We have talked about it since and I explained that I might want to marry at some point, but there’s too much else going on right now to think about it.

Plus, I’d like it to feel more special, although I didn’t say this.

Things haven’t been the same between us since then – what should I do?

Coleen says
Your reply didn’t sound that romantic either! And it probably sounded like a no, so he’s going to feel hurt and awkward.

It might have taken a lot of guts to say it and, let’s face it, he can’t whisk you off to Paris or book a romantic restaurant right now.

Maybe he just felt it at the time, realised how much he loved you and thought, “Right, I’m going to go for it.”

I think you need to work out what’s bothering you more – is it the fact he proposed when you were watching the telly or is it that you’re really not sure if you ever want to marry him?

My advice is, don’t shy away from talking about this, even if it does feel awkward.

Break the barrier and be honest with each other, and tell each other what you want and how you see the future.